Most people don't enjoy taking notes at meetings.

But it doesn't have to be painful.  Great meeting notes can be used to establish rapport, and is the centre-piece of an effective meeting.

And I'll let you in on a little secret...

It's a great way to show initiative, leadership (shhhh... as the note taker, you can guide the meeting) and get some awesome kudos from your team.

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So here's an lightweight template I use for all my meetings...

The Meeting Note Template

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Some Tips

• Start Actions with who is responsible e.g. Tom: to clean up all the mouse traps
• Attach a Due Date to each Action
• You may want to elaborate your Decisions into your internal wiki, or your product specs.
• Action points can go directly into Trello etc (Tools like Notion and Quip, make it easy to go from Meeting Notes to list of trackable to-dos for later) ✌️

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p.s. love Tom & Jerry like we do? Check out the Tom & Jerry Rewind:

For the past couple of years, We’ve tested, failed, succeeded at a number of different ways to build the happiest & most the productive remote team (for Inviited and other products).

If you have nagging thoughts about your remote team dynamics.

‍Read on for the 10 steps we followed when building a kickass distributed team from scratch!

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Step 1. Understand what remote model you want

There are many working models - from not remote at all (left) to fully remote (right). Your choice of model determines how you work.

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We chose the Remote-first model because it was important to us to access the global talent pool, not to mention it was cheaper to find talent when starting out.

Try to be aware of the inherent characteristics of each working model.

For example, our Remote-first policy meant we spent more time up front documenting SOP (Standard Operating Procedures), software documentation, and actively spent more time communicating and building engage with our global team.

Victor Vorski who has been doing remote work & leading distributed teams for over a decade advocates an all or nothing approach to maximise your success:

• Either everyone works from home

OR

• Everyone comes to the office (Satellite offices allowed)

His experience with Hybrid models (where some people come to the office, others don’t) has not been great, and warns against such model.

Circumstantially, we’ve always leaned toward the Remote-First model of everyone picking their own workplace (home, coworking space etc). So best you experiment and see what works for your team.

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Step 2. Build an inclusive Culture from Day 1

An inclusive Company Culture for your remote team is essential regardless of which model you choose.

Don’t treat your offshore employees as 2nd rate citizens, think of them as onshore members of your team who happen to be travelling :D

What does that mean?

Offer the same privileges and perks (where possible) to your remote colleagues, so:

• the same health care, sick days and holidays
• the same performance management and career growth opportunities
• the same onboarding experience - e.g. 1 on 1 catch-ups, conduct a virtual office walkthrough, spend the same times with remote employees explaining processes and “how we work” conventions, etc
• the same company / team wide communications
• so on...

Balance equality with respect for foreign culture.

Start by observing foreign holidays, religious events, language usages etc. When in doubt, ask how something works. It’ll not only educate the local team, but help build rapport with everyone.

"Great Culture doesn’t happen by itself, it's a cumulation of time, effort and intentional planning."

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Step 3. Communicate, communicate, communicate

Remote communication is already hard. Compared to talking to a colleague in person, at the same office, there are numerous non-verbal queues and cultural etiquettes that don’t translate well in a virtual meeting.

To compensate, you should deliberately over-communicate with your remote team, and be more upfront & explicit with the company’s communication protocols and norms.

• List technology tools you want everyone to use
• What customer service response time is
• Meeting etiquettes

Here’s a snippet from our new-starter on-boarding manual:

This is just the tip of the iceberg, your team will have its own communication protocols and social norms. Start gauging what works for you.

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Step 4. Right tool for the job

Contrary to popular belief, tools matter. The right tool makes remote working a breeze, the wrong one could further lead to miscommunication. Or worse frustrate everyone involved and make your team lose respect for your company.

We’ve experimented with a number of tools and have tried to find the best breed of tools for each categories - listed 👇

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Real time chat: Slack

Alternatives:

• Email, yeah right 😉

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Tele / Video conference: Zoom

Alternatives: neither very reliable for group meetings...

• ‍Google Hangout
• Skype

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Internal Wiki / Team Collaboration: Quip

Alternatives:

• Google Docs - only docs & spreadsheets support (no Kanban boards
• ‍Confluence - feels bloated and slow for small agile teams

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User Story / Task Management: Trello

Alternatives: all are pretty good, depending on your use case

• ‍Asana - great for team based To Do List
• ‍Pivotal - Opinionated agile software delivery (we like it!)
• JIRA - Industry leader for User Story, and project tracking. A little bloated and slow for our taste

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Meeting Scheduling: Inviited

Alternatives

• Google / Outlook Calendar - neither does a good job of showing your team's working hours
• call us biased, but we think Inviited is the best cross-timezone scheduling tool without having to use Timezone Converter

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Didn't find what you're looking for?

Check out what Entrepreneurs around the world use in Inviited's survey of 139 Founders and their Startup Tools!

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Step 5. Regular formal & informal catch-ups

Work is never just work. It’s about social bonding and building relationships with your peers. Did you know that Jack on your team recently got engaged, or Maxim is putting his dog through Puppy School? These are the social nuances that make working together meaningful.

Building social relationship between the team is even more important than having work meetings. Employ team building exercises, icebreakers, encourage the team to catch up socially, build specific interest groups, book clubs, hobby show & tells.  Make work fun and sociable.

When we go out of our way to help the team build relationships with each other. It’s a lot easier to build work practices, respect and positive collaboration once the social bridges are in place.

On a more formal front, we use Agile (Kanban or Scrum specifically) heavily in our product development.

This means we listen to our customers a lot, work quickly, and generally ship sooner. This is perfectly suited for remote team structure where lack of physical presence means even greater ability to focus.

The scarcity in meetings make every meeting even more special. From the 1st day, we put the following team meetings  / Agile ceremonies into all new hire’s calendars:

Daily Standups

• Deliberately scheduled for the overlapping time in Europe, US and Melbourne

Weekly Showcase & Retro

• a way for people to see what everyone else on the team is working. We generally do 2~3 hours and everyone demos what they worked on from marketing, designers to developers

Monthly social events

• we do this local to the people in the same office, we’ll get together to celebrate wins, trade stories, and just share laughs. Photos etc are shared with the remote office.

Yearly retreats

• virtual is all well and nice, but a few days of R&R in a getaway location (think Thailand, Bali, or Portugal) and hacking in the same room goes a long way toward both productivity & building great friendships amongst the team.

The occasional Face to face meeting is pivotal to remind us there's a person behind the distant voice, or on the other side of a vid cam - a person with the same capacity for dreams, fears, insecurities and happiness we all have

Virtual communication + anonymity has been a breeding ground for internet trolls. So let's balance virtual efficiency with real human contact.

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While we're starting to hit a groove for the right frequency, duration and format of catch up. As we work further to maximise maker time, and limit manager time, there will always be ways to optimise further as the team grows and roles change.

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Step 6. Make meetings count

Reinforcing the previous step, try to meet with a purpose. Do engage socially during meetings, but also:

• Know what you want to get out of a meeting - an agenda helps
• Clearly delegate someone to takes notes on decisions and action - we recommend the meeting host does it

Tesla Meeting rules advocated by Elon Musk could equally apply virtual meetings. The end goal is the same: only meet where necessary and make the meeting on point.

One meeting etiquette we try to stress is no one should be multi-tasking during the call. This fosters engagement and prevents distraction. Informally, it reinforces trust & respect between team members.

This shouldn’t be hard if you’re minimising your meetings - once daily, and a couple of times a week - you are minimising meetings right?

Step 7. Keep up work momentum

We know that Momentum is important in the same team. Correct work momentum builds a culture of fast work (great for any Agile team), makes everyone feel productive, and empowered.

So it’s even more pivotal for distributed teams where a delay of a few hours means a day or more of delayed output when factoring for timezone.

To ensure continuous work momentum. Distributed Teams should:

• Choose real time communication over email - hello Slack
• Prioritise offshore requests over local - to minimise delays
• Have regular check ins - ad hoc chat, and startic daily daily check ins
• Gauge team momentum in Retros

Even if your team members don’t mention it, everyone can feel the team momentum. Done right, fluid team momentum is the equivalent of Flow state, bringing with it the same level of joy and propensity to be increasingly productive.

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Step 8. Lead for engagement

The biggest pitfall for remote team is dis-engagement. Limited face to face communication, cultural differences, timezone issues makes team bonding difficult.

As leaders, our 1st responsibility is to build a happy team. We’ve personally found the more engaged a team is, the happier they are with their work. And naturally happier employees means happier customers.

According to Dan Pink, the three top factors for motivation, and better performance are Autonomy, Mastery, and Purpose

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Throughout the years, we’ve tried a number of ways to boost these measures for ourselves and for our team. Here are some examples

Autonomy

• Empower localised decision making - e.g. flat structure where everyone is trusted to make decisions for their day to day tasks, and can strongly influence key decision in the business itself, such as developers influencing technical architectural decisions, and often do so on a daily basis when engaged with our CTO. Designers influencing Copywriting and growth tactics
• Team awards for being the most Open, most Supportive
• Rotated organisation of social events - everyone takes a turn

Mastery & Purpose

• Provide a learning expense for everyone - where they choose what they want to spend it on
• Regular 1 on 1 founder catch ups - for us to understand skill progression, dreams, and career tracking, and just social catch up
• Articulate clearly the company vision

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Step 9. Start small, grow slow

Team Culture takes time nurture. For every new hire we make, there is the risk of diluting the Culture your company spent so much time building.

"While you want to grow your business fast, you want to grow your team slooooow"‍

So employ Lean Startup principles, and only grow on an as-needs-basis. In other words only hire for roles where the existing function in the team is at 120% capacity.

And even then, hire judiciously & sparingly.

Hiring deserves its own write up, rule of thumb: Trust your gut and the gut of your team - it’s either ”Hell Yeah!” or “No”

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Step 10. Experiment, learn, improve - think Kaizan

Kaizan is Japanese for "continuous improvement". Not only should you embed it into your team culture as a way to continually grow, it should also be a requisite when learning to build distributed teams.

At the beginning of our remote team journey, we got a lot of it wrong. We hired the wrong people, hired for the wrong role, and didn’t realise when people became disengaged. Since then, we’ve learnt to do things differently with a focus on experimentation, doubling down on what works, scrapping on what doesn’t.

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We’ve learnt a lot from writings of leaders in the field like 37Signals (aka: Basecamp), and Buffer, and hope to broaden the eco-system of distributed with you, our readers.

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Have you discovered any tips in your remote work?

Drop us a comment 👇!

Book in 1 paragraph

Victor Frankl, a psychologist and survivor of the Holocaust, delves into the psychology and emotional awakening required to survive Trauma and Suffering, using the backdrop of his time at the Auschwitz concentration camp.

My Thoughts

A powerful book that is both somber and introspective (almost “out of body”).

The central theme of Suffering is explored in detail, as a way toward personal growth, and a deep psychology assessment of both perpetrators and sufferers.

I found the harrowing descriptions of camp life difficult to turn away from, but necessary to provide perspective on the human potential to Bear all.

There are strong semblances of Stoic approaches in Frankl’s writing, e.g: managing ego, Acceptance, controlling one’s emotions & Reaction.

Life Lessons from Suffering

• The great meaning for any person is to find meaning in his or her life
• The only thing we have control of is our reaction to events.
• ‍Purpose of suffering - suffering by itself is meaningless. But suffering in the great service of others, or for the pursuit of meaning makes it worthwhile
• Surrender into happiness & fulfilment - Success like happiness, fulfilment cannot be a target. They are the “unintended side-effect of one’s dedication to a cause greater than oneself or as the by-product of one’s surrender to a person other than oneself.
• Will to survive - Cling onto the will to survive, the comfort that we can do something about our situation. Once lost, it’s impossible to recover
• Take care of ourselves even during the darkest times - shave, shower, dress for work (even when unemployed). The sense of self respect will carry us through our greatest challenges. Plus the routine prepares us for the day
• Humour - is essential to survival
• Judgement - withhold our judgement of others. Because who knows what we’ll do under the same dire situation
• Acceptance - Instead of ignoring the present or pretending it doesn't exist. Find solace and acceptance in the priorities it presents to us. Ignore false hope of cling to a deadline when suffering will end. Simply accept.
• Visualise - the life we want. The way out. It will keep us alive and moving forward
• Celebrate small wins - no matter how small. It’ll remind the human spirit
• Meaning in Suffering - no one can take away what we’ve experienced or felt. "human life, under any circumstances, never ceases to have a meaning, and that this infinite meaning of life includes suffering and dying, privation and death.
• Good and evil exists - sometimes there are no explanation for man’s capacity for evil. Accept this as realty and move on.
• Let go of false hope - especially ones that give hope of an end to the suffering. We need to have / build methods of Enduring. Indefinitely - "A man who for years had thought he had reached the absolute limit of all possible suffering now found that suffering has no limits, and that he could suffer still more, and still more intensely."

Memorable Quotes

• You cannot control what happens to you in life, but you can always control what you will feel and do about what happens to you.
• we are never left with nothing as long as we retain the freedom to choose how we will respond.
• For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue, and it only does so as the unintended side-effect of one’s dedication to a cause greater than oneself or as the by-product of one’s surrender to a person other than oneself.
• once lost, the will to live seldom returned.
• If you want to stay alive, there is only one way: look fit for work.
• The attempt to develop a sense of humor and to see things in a humorous light is some kind of a trick learned while mastering the art of living.
• There were enough examples, often of a heroic nature, which proved that apathy could be overcome, irritability suppressed. Man can preserve a vestige of spiritual freedom, of independence of mind, even in such terrible conditions of psychic and physical stress.
• We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.
• If there is a meaning in life at all, then there must be a meaning in suffering. Suffering is an ineradicable part of life, even as fate and death. Without suffering and death human life cannot be complete.
• The way in which a man accepts his fate and all the suffering it entails, the way in which he takes up his cross, gives him ample opportunity—even under the most difficult circumstances—to add a deeper meaning
• What you have experienced, no power on earth can take from you
• human life, under any circumstances, never ceases to have a meaning, and that this infinite meaning of life includes suffering and dying, privation and death.

As Startups, we are required to move fast. We are more likely to pick tools recommended to us by other Founders, or that that top Review lists. But are they the right software (SaaS) tool for the job?

We surveyed 139 entrepreneurs in various stages of their business. Summarised the data so you get the best Startup Tool for email marketing, project management, CRM, Company Wiki, plus in 5 more categories.

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Read on to make your SaaS tool selection easier and give you a few more vetted options to consider.

Stuff to know

• 139 people surveyed. Which gives an error margin of approximately +/-10% on an assumed population of 10 million entrepreneurs.
• Respondents hailed globally. Though mostly from US, AU, and NZ.
• I’m a bit of an Optimisation Freak who pride on using the best tool for the job (don’t get me started on the PC vs. Mac debate). For each section, you’ll find: People’s Choice (survey result) and JZ’s Choice (what we use at Inviited, our Meeting Scheduling Startup)
• Where possible, I also included Sentiment analysis on Why a particular SaaS Tool was picked.  Something like easily becomes: “how long is a piece of string". So forgive me if I only included Sentiments for the top SaaS choices.
• There were no marked difference between the groups in the  survey demographics (e.g. Founders vs everyone else - see demographics below). So for benefit of analysis. I've called everyone a Founder.
• We hope you like Pie Charts, because you’re gonna see a lot of it! 🥧👍

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Now, onto the results!

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Best Email Provider

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People’s Choice: Gmail

JZ’s Choice: Gmail

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No surprise here. Gmail user at a whopping 71.2% of Founders. It takes next to no time to set up. GSuite comes with 30GB of file storage, bundled with Google Docs, Sheets, Forms etc, along with advanced user admin.

GSuite has a market place which turns Gmail and GSuite into:

• Project Management Tool (Wrike)
• A CRM systems for Gmail (Streak)

Along with more traditional plugins like Dropbox for Gmail, or Zapier.

And it's all here for under US$8 / month / user.

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We’ve used it for every single one of our businesses.

With Google (76%) and Microsoft (14%) dominating the Startups Email space, it’s difficult to imagine smaller players Zoho and Yandex making any dents in the market...

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Best Email Marketing SaaS

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People’s Choice: MailChimp

JZ’s Choice: MailerLite

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We literally had 41 different Email Marketing software suggested 🤯(what a tough market!).

Anything from Intercom (3.6%), SendGrid (2.2%), Hubspot (2.2%), to Active Campaign (1.5%).

MailChimp seems to be the de-facto choice here, with most people citing their familiarity with it from previous experiences (33%). Plus it’s Free (as in 🍺), has lots of Integrations and has a solid reputation.

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A number of respondents cited they used a mix of MailChimp and other tools. And as their needs got more advanced, they shifted to the likes of Intercom (for Live Chat and Inbox integration), or HubSpot (for the CRM and bunch of other features).

While no one mentioned email functionality, we use ours for customer segmentation, list management, and light weight CRM.

We seem to be on the same journey. As email marketing newbies, we came across MailChimp since it often topped Review sites. We used it with a couple of product launches. Eventually graduating to Drip (awesome Automation, straight-forward UX), till it got too expensive for us.

We currently use MailerLite for Inviited as it's the right balance between cost and functionality. It does just that much more than MailChimp to make us happy.

🤞it evolves with our needs.

Selected Founder Quotes

“Use it[SendGrid] for SMTP out going transactional emails so we pay for custom IP and use rest for free”

“[Mailchimp was] Cheap, pretty, did everything I needed out of the box, easily integrates with my other systems”

“Mailchimp initially as cost and ease. Moving across most to hubspot for more tracking data to segment nurture lists and helps sales “

“Recommended and just starting [to use Convert Kit], so didn't know better. Soon switching to Platformly or Moosend.

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Best Team Communication Tools

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People’s Choice: Slack

JZ’s Choice: Slack

Oh, Slack. How you’ve won our hearts by becoming our Communication backbone. Allowing (most of) us to ditch email,

Your easy on-boarding, emojis, gifs, and many Integration has made us 102% more productive and have at least 78% more fun at work.

While you are great, it’s tough staying focused with irrelevant channel messages (or the sheer volume of them after a holiday - Threaded model anyone?)

But we love your Free plan, and nothing seems to come close

- JZ (a Fan)

Looks like we’re not the only team living in Slack. This is why 48% of our Founders use it. And here’s why?

This proves conclusively:

“Network effect is key in workplace messaging apps”
  - JZ

Despite being “more Free” than Slack, Microsoft Teams (4%) and Discord (2.2%) still have a lot of catching up to do...

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Other Observations:

• Some teams still using Email (10%). Most common reasons cited were: for small teams, it’s simple, free, has zero-learning curve, and just there.
• Non-work messaging tools still have a place here: Skype (5%), Whatsapp (5.8%). Which reminds me of the state of Messaging from 2015 (Wired article). Still Fragmented… 😓

Selected Founder Quotes

“[Skype] It's a hub for everything (3rd party integrations make is super useful and sticky)”

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“[RingCentral is] Like Slack but has integrated voip and video conferencing all in one, it rocks”

“New startup growing rapidly. Personal communication with founders is possible. And [Chanty] it's simple, lightweight and highly focused on what we need.”

“[WeChat] works great in China”

“All the integrations.  Jira, bitbucket and a bunch of webhooks provide a lot of updates along with the human messages.  So one app [Slack] to see what's going on across the business.”

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Best Task Management / Project Management Tool

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Personal

People’s choice: Trello

JZ’s Choice: Asana / GTask

Team

People’s choice: Trello

JZ’s Choice: Trello

It seems like a new task management tool comes out every other week.

But Trello (29.5%), the One Board to rule them all, takes it out.

Just look at the fragmentation of the market here.

We had 50. 🤯

Yes, 50 different Task or Project Management product choices nominated by our Founders.

From the more traditional: Asana, JIRA, good ol’ trusty pen & paper 💪.

To the not so traditional: Plutio, ClickUp, Basecamp, Bitrix 24, TFS, and Notion, Notes on iPhone

Some of those tools clearly have uses beyond task management, which illustrates the blurring lines of project management space and opportunities for vertical integration. Some examples:

• Notion - Note and Company Wiki (see Company Wiki Tool below), but has a good Task tool as well
• Basecamp - the grandfather of SaaS. All in one project management tool, with Chat and Task bundled in.
• All in one products like: Plutio (Email, live chat, document collaboration, Kanban boards, etc), Bitrix 24 (CRM, Website Builder, etc)

Why was Trello the top choice?

Most common reason cited, for personal use:

• Simplicity (50%),
• Used previously (25%)
• Integration, Free, or Specific use case - e.g. tracking product roadmap, Business Development steps, etc

For team use:

• Simplicity (75%)
• Used previously (5%)

For Asana, the runner up for both personal and team task management tool. Most commonly cited reason was previous exposure and one task tool for the whole team.

The fact that Trello and Asana were built from the ground up for "multi-player" meant Startup teams got to use them early and stuck with them thanks to their simplicity.

While Todoist has Team features. Their Business plan is less than 3 years old. And it’s hard to convince the whole team across to a new tool.

For us, we loved Asana’s keyboard controls, they were also a big influence in us making Inviited a dream for Keyboard Ninjas.

However, we found Asana’s long task lists difficult when used in a team. We also couldn't easily switch between their List & Board (very sub-par compared to Trello) views.

Trello's awesome keyboard shortcuts, overall simplicity and zero learning curve won us over, and we've been using it for years.

Selected Founder Quotes

“There are so many [tools]. I had to pick one. I chose Todoist years ago and I haven't looked elsewhere because it does what I want.”

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[JIRA has] Quality, agile features, solid integration with other apps, management of users in one place, integration with bitbucket, automation triggers/workflows

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“We really like it [Clubhouse]. Perfect for software dev teams. Was recommended to us.”

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“We use it [Asana] for the wider team and it makes sense to keep todos in one place.”

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“Basecamp's been the go to for a few remote teams I've joined”

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“Easy to use, thought about github, but having a Trello app for adding on the fly is important”

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“Very powerful at this stage and [Infinity] it is in fast developement. We bought LTD [Life Time Deal], so probably we will not have to pay in the future.”

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“[Notion is] Best. Most flexible. Free to me! Even in Team Plan.”

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Best CRM Tool

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People’s Choice: Hubspot, or Email List Tool doubles as CRM

JZ’s Choice: Our Email marketing tool (MailerLite)

25% of respondents didn’t have a CRM tool, and used their email list management tool instead - just like us.

The reason is simple:

"Early stage Startups are not ready for a dedicated CRM"
   - JZ

We are small, agile and moves fast. Unless dedicated tooling solved a pain-point, it adds unnecessary complexity & administrative overhead.  So most of us stuck with our Mailing List tool which has enough for us to do simple segmentation.

If your Startup is ready for a CRM. Hubspot (23%) was the top choice for our list of Founders. Largely because it was free (according to 69% of Founders using Hubspot)

SalesForce (7.2%) was the next choice. Most because the team had used it before, or already came with the tech stack (40%)

Selected Founder Quotes

“[Contactually is] Super easy to use, hard bulk mail function, reminds me to contact people I haven’t spoken to in a while “

“It's working. I know I need a real CRM, but I only have a few clients.” - no CRM

“Hubspot because it was free in the beginning.  Likely moving to Platformly.”

“[Hubspot, because] functionality, price, startup program”

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[ZohoCRM is] Easy to use, has a good list of features in their free plan

Best Landing Page Builder

People’s choice: Wordpress, or custom coded site

JZ’s choice: WebFlow

While no-code tools have matured leaps & bounds in the last 5 years. Nothing beats custom code’s ability to: do-it-exactly-as-I-envisioned-it.

It helps that 43% of the Founders who custom built their website self identify as Developers. And 30% did it for reasons of customisation.

Wordpress leads the pack for no-code tools (it’s doesn’t strictly meet the definition of a no-code tool since heavy customisation can be done with PHP). No surprise as WordPress powers 29% of the world’s internet traffic, and likely the most popular blogging platform under the ☀️.

For Founders used WordPress it to build their website (22.1%), most of them did it because of familiarity with the platform (50%).

We built the Inviited landing page & the blog you’re reading now on Webflow (11.6% of founders) because it was heavily customizable (think: frontend for CSS), can fine-tune mobile responsiveness, and we didn’t mind the learning curve.

There was a more pivotal reason:

“Using a no-code tool for the Inviited landing page meant we could preserve our core engineering effort for the actual product.”

For everyone else, the landing page tool is really a personal choice. Depending on your needs and previous experiences. SquareSpace, Wix, Carrd, WebFlow, LeadPages, Brizy (for Wordpress), Hubspot are all viable choices, along with 100s of others.

Selected Founder Quotes

“Significantly expanded functionality, SEO capability and site speed recently. Ease of use is [Wix’s] key differentiator.”

"[Wordpress, because] familiarity at the time as a non-tech, Now I'd probably start with Carrd if I was needing a landing page."

“Quick, simple, does exactly what we want it to and no more, source code in git” - Custom Code option

“My partners hated every other landing page platform out there.” - Custom code option

[Unbounce is] easy quick and cheap to start on , move to hubspot because it gives us more data for segmenting and targeting lists

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Best Customer Support Tool

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People’s choice: Email, or Intercom

JZ’s choice: Email

Email, a relic from the infancy of the Web is used by 30% of our respondents for customer support. We use it too.

Email is ubiquitous as it's attached to our web domains. Everyone’s familiar with it.  And let’s be honest. Real-time customer support like live chat requires dedicated time & resources that Startups may not have.

But if you’re in the market for a dedicated Customer Support tool. Intercom (14%) is the winner here. Followed by ZenDesk (7%).

40% of Intercom users cited Integration as being the number #1 reason they used Intercom.

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It was also interesting to see 16% of respondents don’t do customer support. Are these companies too early to do support - at least I can’t think of an industry where where customer support isn’t needed.

Super interesting, we may dig into this in the future.

If you’d like to look around, products like FreshDesk, HelpScout, Gist, even WhatsApp were also mentioned.

Selected Founder Quotes

“Email is best option at this stage - use it with hubspot and live chat”

“[Crisp.Chat has] cool features, and an aggressive Startup rate that you can apply for. I liked the idea of Intercom, but saw too many complaints about pricing after year 1.

“Haven't sought out software for support yet”

“Pricing is a concern here with Intercom & ZenDesk.  Freshdesk, Tawk.to & Crisp are current considerations.” - not using Custome Support software atm

"[Intercom] It's pretty from an end user perspective, and great software when you use it for everything."

"[Intercom] It connects with everything else (support, sales, email marketing, help center)."

"[HelpScout] Has a KB and good support for email comms."

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Best Internal Documentation / Company Wiki Tool

‍People’s Choice: GSuite

JZ’s Choice: GSuite (previously Quip)

GMail, the most popular email for the same reason that GSuite dominates here: You can’t beat the price.

52% of Founders collaborate using GSuite cited cost as the reason (the word “Free” 🍻 was thrown around a lot!)

It’s great to see Notion (a company less than 3 years old) being used by 12.2% of our respondents. For those who use it, 62% absolutely raved about its flexibility and ability to do so much.

“Because I have tried many, nothing comes close, and Notion is the bomb!”
  - a Founder

“We also use gsuite. Notion forces a clearer structure.”
   - another Notion loving Founder

I found it interesting no one used Quip: A collaboration product made by ex-GSuite Googlers. Acquired by SalesForce in 2016 for $750m.

For 3 years it was the backbone of our internal company wiki: document chat, product & finance documentation, marketing schedule, and even agile ceremonies (we documented product planning, retros out of it too).

We recently switched to GSuite. While It doesn’t have the everything-is-in-one-place feel of Quip. Like you, we loved that it came with our Business Gmail - and it’s hard to beat Free 🍻!

Selected Founder Quotes

“Google Drive is nicely integrated with the rest of the [GSuite] tools”

“We were all using it [GSuite] individually before we started so we just continued to use it.”

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"Because of [Confluence’s] integrations with Jira & Bitbucket + it's Aussie"

“We also use gsuite. Notion forces a clearer structure.”

“[Notion because] User experience and speed you can produce content”

‍

‍

Best Video Conference Tool

‍People’s Choice: Zoom

JZ’s Choice: Zoom

Zoom (41%) topped our choice for video conferencing software. Its growth has been absolutely phenomenal:

‍

Don't forget installing Zoom required us to ignore the default options that came with Slack (#1 for team communications) or Google Hangout (GSuite is #1 for Company Wiki). Which is a testament to its product superiority.

The major issue with group virtual meetings is connectivity. Our team has personally experienced dropouts, voice & video lag with Skype and Google Hangouts as soon as we had 4 or more people on the call. Conversely, I've been in Zoom meetings with 20 people and no connectivity issues.

This is supported by the survey data: 67% of Founders cited Connectivity as the #1 reason they use Zoom. 21% cited the product’s simplicity.

“[Zoom’s]  lightweight Web client could figure out almost instantly what kind of device you were using, meaning Zoom didn’t need different versions for Mac or PC. It also provided a software layer that shielded any bugs that might be introduced when a browser like Chrome, Firefox or Safari pushed an update. Zoom could operate even at 40% data loss, so it would still work on a spotty or slow internet connection. And at $9.99 per host per month ($14.99 today), it undercut its rivals. Zoom customer service chief Jim Mercer was then working at competitor GoToMeeting when a colleague opened a Zoom account to see what the hype was about. “One click, we were in, and there were 25 feeds of participants at the same time,” he says. “We were like, ‘What is this voodoo? How are they doing it?’ ”
  - Forbes article

Selected Founder Quotes

“We're already paying for Slack so…”

“Love zoom for recording etc.. Skype for quick calls.”

“[Skype is] Good for all round use with internal/external individuals”

“Don't love it [Skype], just use it. Zoom is more commonly used with clients though.”

“[Google Hangout] Invitation is done on Google so it make sense to have everything in 1 place”

“Because it [Appear.in] works. Unlike most others I have tried”

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James Clear teaches us how to build good habits and get rid of bad ones, in what is the most effective habit book I've read thus far!

5 Key ideas

• While habits will form subconsciously, we can hack the process to build our own habits
• Habit go through this flow: Cue - Craving - Response - Reward
• It’s possible to alter the condition at each of the 4 stages to break old habits, or form new ones
• Repetition is key to forming any new habits
• Once a habit is formed, it takes conscious effort

How Habits are Triggered

1. Cue: feel lonely
2. Craving: sleep, togetherness, want to forget
3. Response: watch porn & masturbate
4. Reward: get high from watching porn and tired from masturbation. Go to sleep forgetting the loneliness

=> Brain associate PMO to loneliness

Brain does this to reduce load on conscious brain, which can only focus on one problem at a time. The more we can handball the subconscious, the easier it is for ourselves

3 layers of habit building

from inner to outer

1. identity
2. systems
3. outcomes

True habit change is identity change. If we believe this is who we are, it’s a lot easier to change the habit e.g:

• smoker A: I’m not a smoker.
• smoker B: I’m trying to quit
• Our pride will lock and force our behaviour to be congruent toward our identity

To change our identity, we need to cultivate the habit. e.g Each time I practice the guitar, I become more of the guitarist. Over time, that identity takes hold and the habit is formed, making the identity even stronger

‍
4 steps of habit forming

1. Make it Obvious (Cue)

e.g. Put items like gym shoes, books I want to read, and notepad with my writing around the house so I do more of these things

• This hacks the environment to our advantage. We’re subjected to our environment more than we know (we’re not really in control), so change our environment to foster the habit we want
  

2. Make it Attractive / Unattractive (Craving)

The more appealing an activity is, the higher the anticipation for it. The more likely we’ll do it

• Use Temptation bundling & habit stacking to start associate things we need to do and get good vibes
• e.g. after I put on slippers in the morning (stacking), I’ll do 20 pushes, and write for 30 minutes, then I can check Facebook for 10 minutes (bundling)

3. Make it Easy (Response)

Hacks:

• Change environment
• For good habits, remove all hurdles, automate the habit and master decessive decisions + make start of habit fall into 2 min rule
• For bad habits, make it harder to do. Change environment, use tech barriers (eg flight now, website blockers)
• e.g. Hang out with people who have the habit we want to foster (e.g. amateur musicians, book club)
• Wire up routines for mood / state change, and affix to habit we want to develop

4. Make it Satisfying (Reward)

1. Select rewards that reinforce our identity (or the identity we want)
2. Provide immediate reward - we love instant gratification! (e.g. reward myself with gaming / movie right immediately after working 6 hours)
3. Reward must be something we like
4. mix it up - we love variety!
5. Use habit tracking. Advantages: clear indication of progress + satisfying
6. Habit Stacking for Habit Tracking formula: "After [current habit], I will [track my habit]"
7. Keep up the chain, if missed one day, get back into it straight away!
8. Have an accountability partner

‍

Tactics

Implementation Intention

Use specific detail (time of day, place) when committing to a new habit ingrains in us a reminder when the we’re near the time/location

This is effective because people don’t lack motivation, we lack clarity on knowing when to take action.

e.g. At 9:30pm, everyday at home. I’ll clean up my desk

Habit stacking

Special form of Implementation Intention by anchoring a habit to another habit e.g. after Habit X, I’ll do Habit Y

Can even habit stack Cues, after I see my gym shoes by the door, I’ll put a towel in my bag

Temptation Bundling

Bundle something I want (e.g. watch Netflix) with something I want to do (e.g. exercise)

e.g. don’t allow (or outright block) Netflix on all devices in the house, except for the iPad mounted on the treadmill

"ABC Thursday Night” - advertise a TV show while enjoying red wine. People already drink wine. By associating relaxation (wine) with ABC and Thu, they are using Implementation Intention and Temptation Bundling. We’ll think about ABC next time we relax, or see wine.

"Netflix and Chill” was a great campaign, and why people naturally pop on Netflix when they’re on the couch or in bed.

Environment control

Change environment for the habit I want to foster. Use visual cues to trigger the habit I want (e.g. gym shoes, books I want to read, guitar etc)

Join a Tribe

Join a group of people who have the habit we want (e.g. amateur musicians, book club)

Conscious Mental State Change [Super hack]

We associate actions with mood / mental state when doing something.

e.g. we can consciously associate happiness with habit we want to foster by setting up a (facial feedback) routine. THEN, attach the routine (which generates the mood) to a habit we find difficult

First:

1. Find an action we enjoy. e.g. pet the dog, throw a ball
2. small action so easier to wire this up
3. Before the action, set up a routine e.g. 3 deep breath and a smile (smile is useful because of Facial Feedback effect for Happiness)
4. Do the action
5. Wire this up - Do this routine and action 5 ~ 10 times
6. Now the routine is associated with being happy

Now, we can use the routine even to get into the mood for something unpleasant e.g. do routine before cleaning up house

The first 2 minutes

The first 2 minutes of a habit should be easy (e.g. put on the gym shoes), This starts the snowball rolling. Use habit stacking to keep things going till we hit the goal we want

Breaking a Habit

To prevent a habit. Set up hurdles eg want to limit tv time?

From light to extreme:

1. Unplug tv after each use. Only plug in and watch after saying out the show I want to watch
2. Unplug tv and take out remote batteries after each use
3. Put tv in a closet after each use

Every habit has an underlying psychological need it tries to fulfil. The habit isn't the best way to fulfil it, it's what we've LEARNT over the years

Eg check Facebook = need for social belonging.

Play games = want challenges

Our brain is actually constantly looking at Cues and predicting what will happen so we choose the best action to meet or underlying psychological response

Eg just finished long hard day of work at 10pm. The right thing is to go to bed. But we feel the need to unwind to feel like 'we have control of our lives', so stay up watching movies, play games or go on Facebook.

To break this habit. We find the psychological reason of WHY we do something - what need does it fulfil in us. Then:

• Substitute an alternate action to fulfil the same need eg play guitar instead of games to fulfil same need for challenges (same reason desire to play games lessen once I started doing startups)
• AND: break the association that the action will fulfil the needs eg tell ourselves smoking doesn't relieve stress, the need to quit adds stress

Commitment Device

A current action to lock in lock in a commitment of a future action

To avoid bad habits, usually restriction placed in self to avoid doing something eg Victor Hugo asking his assistant to lock away his cloth so he could stay indoors to finish hunchback of Notre Dame.

Or Ulysses asking his sailors to tie him to the mast so he can't steer ship toward the sirens

Science of Habit

1. Diderot effect - Buying one thing, leads us to buy other things related to this new item (that we may not need) e.g. buy a couch may make us question our home layout, so we buy other furniture
2. Environmentally driven action
3. behaviour = function of person in their environment
4. It’s also the whole context around our environment. Not jus the time & location e.g. drinking at a bar - friends drinking, music blasting, beer flowing from tap, the smell of alcohol. The brain takes in thousands of these cues
5. Often the Cue is too fast for the conscious mind to over-ride. The Cue triggers immediate desire and release of brain chemicals. That’s why 50mg of cocaine (or flour!!) is enough the desire in addicts
6. proof: experiments with mice in cage with cocaine. Control Set in cage with toys, food, other mice to play & procreate. Experiment Set in cage with nothing but the cocaine. Mice in cage with activities didn’t even touch cocaine
7. empirical: impulse buying. Supermarket & Malls put high margin items at eye level near check out, or end of isles (45% of Coca Cola sales comes from end of isle placement)
8. Visual cues are highly effective
9. 10 million of our 19 million neurons are dedicated to vision. Scientists theorize half of our brain activity is dedicated to processing visual information
10. Super normal stimuli are things light up our cues like a Christmas Tree. They’ve been artificially created in society to get us addicted faster
11. junk food - lots of salt & sugar. Our body isn’t wired to get lots of it. So we crave it after having it
12. porn - abundance, free, and instantly available. Mix of high def resolution & stereo sound. Plays on human mind’s ability to put ourselves in other people’s roles. Our craving for more abnormal, extreme versions of it goes up the more we consume
13. drugs - over abundance release of brain chemicals (e.g. cocaine = our next months of dopamine). Brain is over stimulated, and crashes later, craving the same experience
14. Variable reward produces novelty. Maximising dopamine production, accelerating habit formation.
15. Eg porn - sexual variety, junk food - taste variety, slot machine - reward varience (timing)
16. 100% of the brain’s sensors are activated for Wanting. Only 10% for Liking
17. Dopamine is released in ANTICIPATION of reward
18. we release more dopamine in anticipation of a reward than getting the reward itself
19. means, if we can control ourselves during the anticipation phase, that’s the worst of it.
20. How we pick up a habits (evolutionary)
21. Imitate the Close (by)
22. Driver: Wanting to fit in, we automatically pick up habits of our tribe - those we hang out with / close by, imitating accents, IQ, weight etc (e.g how our parents handle arguments, what our friends do etc).
23. Imitate the Powerful
24. Driver: Wanting to have better social status & find a better mate. We automatically look to those with more power than us and try to copy what they do. Conversely, we don’t want to be judged, so we pick up habits to be up standing citizens (mow our lawn, clean our house before guests get there)
25. Habits are constructed as a prediction to a Cue so we Feel a certain way
26. The feeling is something deep rooted human e.g. want to be part of a tribe. The cue is are surface level triggers
27. e.g. Cue = feeling lonely. Habit = check Facebook. Feeling = some feeling of connectivity and relief
28. At the start of habit forming, it’s about getting repetition to change our brain and body.
29. e.g. mathematicians will have bigger grey matter in areas of logic. Tax drivers has bigger hippocampus for spatial mapping, which shrinks again after they retire
30. our malleable mind & body changes this way so we can repeat the action easier without load on our body or conscious mind
31. Frequency (of action) not duration determines the habit
32. that’s why could be hooked on a mobile game after minutes of downloading it
33. The Principle of Least Action - when presented with 2 actions, we will choose the easier one
34. Humans are wired to conserve energy
35. Our world has evolved to favor those with long term focus & ability for delayed gratification. There is a Timing Inconsistency that our our brain hasn’t evolved...
36. Our ancestors lived in an Instant Return Environment - avoid predators, you live. Eat food now, you survive for another few days.
37. However now-days,  actions today won't generate results for days, even years.
38. Don’t use a measurement as a target.
39. Human mind optimises for wins. If we set low target we'll meet it. If we set quarterly earnings goals, we lose long term goal. So think about real meaning of progress. Don't blindly prioritise quantitive metrics. Instead focus on the Process over the Goal
40. The Goldilocks zone is where task performed is just beyond reach of the person. This is the best way to keep motivation up while song work (too easy or too hard, and we'd fine up).
41. Being in the Goldilock zone will prompt Flow (scientists quantify at 4% harder than current level of ability)
42. Economic theory:  Good habits will give short term cost and long term benefit.  Bad habits will give short term benefit and long term cost
43. We should manually reinforce good habits with rewards at the end of the behaviour and reinforce it
44. Trying to get rid of bad habits because there is no reward for avoidance.
45. Use a tactic like this:
46. Set up a savings account named for something that we want. Eg overseas trip. Everytime we avoid going out we put in $50.
47. Best to choose reward that aligns with identity eg reward exercise with ice cream will cause identity conflict. Better to reward with something like a massage. Relaxing and a luxury

Mindset

1. Be consistent, put in the work day in and day out, focus & trust the system. Progress is not linear. It’s more bamboo growing - 9 years of putting root into the ground. Once it sprouts, 6 weeks to grow to 20 meters
2. Don’t just plan. Do it. “Perfect is the enemy of done"
3. "Motion” is planning for an action. “Action” is actually doing it. Motion will never lead to results but will fool us into thinking we’re making progress.  No one wants to be judged for our failures so motion gives perception we're doing something without having to do it.
4. We only need to make the right decision a few times a day
5. only a few corner stone decisions each day determines if it’s a good or bad day. Ideally we habitalise these key decisions like taking a cold shower in the morning. Having a bad day? Make sure we bend our whole will to making the right decision. Everything else should be easier.
6. Fall in love with BOREDOM
7. Mastery requires repetitive practice. Successful people experience the same boredom as we do. But they power through that.
8. We can use all the tactics here, apply variable reward for us to be in the goldilock zone etc. But eventually we'll hit a plateau of excitement.  that's why it's so important to develop good habits. It removes the need for conscious decision and effort. Reserving those for the truly difficult decisions / tasks (use energy for continued reflection & upward progress. don’t stagnate!)
9. "Professionals stick to the schedule, amateurs let life get in the way"
10. "successful people are those who can handle the boredom of showing up everyday and doing the work"
11. The trick is to find the right way of improving by 1% everyday, develop the habit for that growth and stick with it

Which Habit to cultivate?

1. While Genetics (in physical characteristics and personality) may play a huge role guiding us toward opportunities and fields where we'll excel. Improves our odds out of the gate, it doesn't not guarantee success. Genetics pre dispose, not pre determine.
2. How do we know where to our efforts? Use Explore - exploit:
3. Cast net wide at the start. Explore until we find something that comes naturally to us. Or we really enjoy, then Exploit (train hard, double down and become super good).
4. Still explore opportunities within the field.
5. If losing, explore more and repeat cycle.
6. How to find work we're uniquely suited for?   Ask ourselves these questions:
7. What feels like fun to me and work for others (it's all about what pain we can endure easier than others)?
8. What gives me Flow?
9. Where do I get better ROI compared to others (faster, easier progress)?
10. What comes naturally to me?
11. Can't find a game where we have natural advantage?   Invent one!
12. best way to stand out is to create a unique field that combine your skills in ways that produce something that people want. Eg Scott Adams (Dilbert) is:
13. Slightly better than average person who draws (not an artist)
14. Slightly more funnier than average person (not a comedian)
15. Unique insights into business world
16. There wasn't a work place cartoon that was funny and people could relate to. It was rare to find a person who can draw, is funny and had workplace insights = massive advantage for Scott

How to break down activity for Habit

1. Eg break down a goal to 2 min rule
2. Goal: want to live longer
3. Break down to I should exercise
4. Break down to 2 min rule to put on gym cloth

‍

Tips

• Don't focus on the end goal.
• Focus on just showing up everyday and use Habit Shaping technique to build up progress of habit toward end goal, till we get to a 2 min rule
• Showing up everyday reinforces the identity that I'm someone who: works out everyday, and gets up early everyday, etc

How to avoid Plateauing

Review our progress

1. Olympic athletes do this to squeeze every drop of performance gain they could or of nutrition, sleep / recovery, training. Being good enough on an action by relying on a habit isn't good enough
2. e.g. Keep decision journal and track progress. Review every week to see if improving
3. e.g. Integrity report  - what went wrong and how to improve.
4. Help determine if new habits should begin developed to be the person we want to become
5. e.g. Yearly integrity report
6. What are the core values that drive work
7. How am I living with integrity right now
8. How can I set higher standard in the future

Finding balance in reflection

1. Not enough - we don't grow
2. Too much - we focus on every little imperfection and loose the big picture

Tips

1. Focus on the System. Not the goal. Winners and losers both set goals. Winners focus on the repetition & work of putting system to get there.
2. System focus allows faster happiness (I’ve done the work today). Goals makes us feel less successful as they they are harder to achieve, and what happens when we finish them?
3. To break the habit, we must make the subconscious.
4. once a habit is ingrained it’s near impossible to break it. That’s why Point and Speak (as used by Japanese Train Conductors as safety point checks) is so effective, we’re focused to use our eyes (see), mouth (speak) and hands (point) to break the subconscious routine of thinking everything is safe
5. Do an activity I want in the same place, same time of day, with the same equipment, and even same cloth (e.g. workout) if I can. Will easier foster the habit
6. e.g. use a specific chair for working. One just for playing games. Easier to get into the swing of activity once that chair is brought in
7. This is why it takes mental effort to focus on work when we use the same laptop for work, movies, games.
8. So having Windows on Mac for games, movies etc is a good idea. i.e. I’m in Mac OSX. This is for work.
9. No zero days - Don’t interrupt a habit. Just show up is enough to reinforce our identity (e.g. do 1 min of a 10 min habit is better than nothing). By not breaking the chain, we reinforce this as our identity
10. Equating it to investing. $100 to $150. 50% gain. But only need 33% loss to take it to back to $100. Don't ever interrupt compounding. Let it continue
11. Adopt a consistent warm up routine (e.g. meditation or other creative practice) to optimise us for best performance, and a warm down routine for bed
12. Get an accountability partner - we care deeply what others think about us
13. A commitment partner + penalties will give us social pressure to follow through. The more public we can make the bet. The more shame we'll suffer and higher stages the habit will be
14. Stop when going is good, to keep up the habit
15. Be fluid in our identity
16. 'keep our identity small’ - Paul Graham
17. Holding too strongly into an identity: I'm a vegan, I'm an entrepreneur, I'm a partner at a law firm etc will wreck is when we lose that role in life.
18. Move with the fluidity of life and cultivate different hobbies - it's possible to be a partner at a laser firm,a writer, a musician and all these roles at once and none of roles
19. Redefine the role into characteristics
20. I'm a CEO -> I'm mentally tough, I am a good leader
21. I'm an elite athlete -> i am consistent in my daily practice

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Quotes

“There wasn’t one defining moment on my journey from medically induced coma to Academic All-American; there were many. It was a gradual evolution, a long series of small wins and tiny breakthroughs. The only way I made progress—the only choice I had—was to start small.”

“When nothing seems to help, I go and look at a stonecutter hammering away at his rock, perhaps a hundred times without as much as a crack showing in it. Yet at the hundred and first blow it will split in two, and I know it was not that last blow that did it—but all that had gone before.”

"whatever work we do that we feel authentic and genuine. We're headed in the right direction"

“You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.”

“You should be far more concerned with your current trajectory than with your current results.”

“When you fall in love with the process rather than the product, you don’t have to wait to give yourself permission to be happy. You can be satisfied anytime your system is running.”

“The implicit assumption behind any goal is this: “Once I reach my goal, then I’ll be happy.” The problem with a goals-first mentality is that you’re continually putting happiness off until the next milestone.”

“All big things come from small beginnings. The seed of every habit is a single, tiny decision. But as that decision is repeated, a habit sprouts and grows stronger. Roots entrench themselves and branches grow. The task of breaking a bad habit is like uprooting a powerful oak within us. And the task of building a good habit is like cultivating a delicate flower one day at a time.”

“When you can’t win by being better, you can win by being different.”

“We imitate the habits of three groups in particular: The close. The many. The powerful.”

“Goals are good for setting a direction, but systems are best for making progress.”

“The purpose of setting goals is to win the game. The purpose of building systems is to continue playing the game. True long-term thinking is goal-less thinking. It’s not about any single accomplishment. It is about the cycle of endless refinement and continuous improvement. Ultimately, it is your commitment to the process that will determine your progress.”

“Habits reduce cognitive load and free up mental capacity, so you can allocate your attention to other tasks"

“The cue is about noticing the reward. The craving is about wanting the reward. The response is about obtaining the reward.”

“Missing once is an accident. Missing twice is the start of a new habit. This is a distinguishing feature between winners and losers. Anyone can have a bad performance, a bad workout, or a bad day at work. But when successful people fail, they rebound quickly. The breaking of a habit doesn’t matter if the reclaiming of it is fast. I think this principle is so important that I’ll stick to it even if I can’t do a habit as well or as completely as I would like. Too often, we fall into an all-or-nothing cycle with our habits. The problem is not slipping up; the problem is thinking that if you can’t do something perfectly, then you shouldn’t do it at all.”

“How to Break a Bad Habit Inversion of the 1st law (Cue): Make it invisible. Inversion of the 2nd law (Craving): Make it unattractive. Inversion of the 3rd law (Response): Make it difficult. Inversion of the 4th law (Reward): Make it unsatisfying.”

“Complaining about not achieving success despite working hard is like complaining about an ice cube not melting when you heated it from 25 to 31 degrees. All the action happens at 32 degrees.”

“A craving is the sense that something is missing. It is a desire to change your internal state. This gap between your current state and your desired state provides a reason to act. Desire is the difference between where you are now and where you want to be in the future. Even the tiniest action is tinged with the motivation to feel differently than you do in the moment. When you binge eat or browse social media, what you really want is not a potato chip or a bunch of likes. What you really want is to feel different.”

“Time magnifies the margin between success and failure. It will multiply whatever you feed it. Good habits make time your ally. Bad habits make time your enemy.”

“If you’re having trouble changing your habits, the problem isn’t you. The problem is your system. Bad habits repeat themselves again and again not because you don’t want to change, but because you have the wrong system for change. You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.”

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Book in 1 paragraph

A history of Theranos and Elizabeth Holmes’ rise to becoming media darling (first self made Female Billionaire CEO, with Theranos at a $9B valuation), to the unveiling of massive fraud at Theranos, and the fact that its blood testing technologies simply didn’t work...

Key Ideas

• The “Win at all costs” and “Fake it till you make it” Silicon Valley culture (massive rounds of funding to support product development with no profitability), may work out for some tech companies. But this iterative model isn’t suited to Medicine where people’s lives are on the line, and the bar for 1st version of product is very high
• No doubt Elizabeth Holmes was a visionary. But she was also unethical, and was selling a product that didn’t work
• Theranos’ downfall came from a non working product; a culture of paranoia, fear and secrecy; overspend on marketing vs. product; unethical / sociopath founders
• Theranos may still be operating, if not for the courage and whistle blowing of a few Theranos employees + John Carreyou's dogged reporting that triggered regulator intervention. These courageous individuals braved against the constant harassment and threats of lawsuits by Theranos (a company with almost endless financial coffers, and little ethics)

What went wrong

• Over promising On smoke and mirrors, under delivering on a product that was to complex - combining cutting edge innovations with in fluid dynamics, miniaturization, mechanical engineering - a few years wasn't enough even for a prototype. Let alone field use
• In a field that is (rightly) well regulated and involve human lives. Startup ethos to fail fast, speedy iterations don't work well
• "Holmes herself pointed out at the height of her fame: Doctors base 70% of their decision on lab results. They reply on lab equipment to work as advertised. Otherwise patient health is jeopardized."
• Holmes & Suni’s obsession with secrecy fostered a culture of fear and mistrust in the company
• Headed by a founder visionary who was a brilliant seller, with no respect or understanding for day to day running of the company or the actual product domain (experts who worked for her mentioned her limited understanding of Medical science and Blood Testing)
• She was young and impressionable and negatively influenced by a man who lacked the intellect, management experience, or ethics to run a company in the medical Tech field - Suni
• Silicon valley culture - too much money pulled into an idea with no concrete product or feasibility
• Too much money spent on marketing. Not enough on product feasibility - eg $6m yearly retainer for TBWA/Chiat/Day - The ad agency that
• Unreasonable expectation of form over factor - eg blood cartridges had to be a certain size. Even know the devices would not be used in people's homes
• Too much focus put on Holmes personal fame, courting big investor over building a good product. It should always be about product, product, product
• The Theranos Board served no purpose. They had no voting rights (Holmes had 90%+), which means no oversight on the CEO
• Lack of consistent business strategy & what customers wanted - product strategy changed monthly as Holmes & Suni focused on pleased investors & media
• We tell ourselves stories we want to hear. Investors on Sandhill road told themselves ridiculous: "she [Holmes] didn't just inherit entrepreneurship genes, but also  medical ones”. The Media wanted a “first female self-made Billionaire CEO”. The Public and Walgreens wanted a device that could do 200+ blood tests on a single drop of blood
• FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) is very real. "his [Suni] arrogance was infuriating, but Safeway still refused to walk away, what if the Theranos technology really was game changing, it would spend the next decade referring missing out on it. The fear of missing out was a powerful deterrent"

Elizabeth Holmes Traits

Book was as much a study of Holmes history and motivations as the story of theranos

• driven
• petty
• competitive
• pathological lier (false sense of blind belief with no root in reality)
• smart, but unethical
• Charming
• Megalomaniac
• Obsessed with Apple culture and wanted emulate it - getting the same ad agency, same photographer, wearing Steve Jobs' black turtle neck every day
• Visionary

Notes

• Zero transparency from Theranos. Always quoting "trade secret"
• Holmes was unethical, lacked integrity at her core. She was governed by paranoia and greed - eg using under handed tactics to limit people's stock options, or building dossier on former employees for leverage & blackmail.
• Holmes obsession for secrecy alienated most employees. It hampered productivity, silo'ed teams, hurt moral and built mistrust. For example by not letting employees know that early Theranos test with terminal cancer patient is demonstrate data collection and analysis to FISIR and not to influence patient treatment. Employees would've felt more relaxed
• Demonstrating smoke and mirrors for investors is crossing the line - "was a sham”. 3 years in. $32m raised. High profile leadership and management hired. But it was a sham from the start. "Fake it till you make it was strong”. Anyone that discovered the truth was fired.

Quotes

"... watching her confidently walk the audience through the slick slide show helped crystallize for me [Carreyrou] how she'd gotten this far. She was an amazing saleswoman. She never once stumbled or lost her train of thought. She wielded both engineering and laboratory lingo effortlessly and she showed heartfelt emotion when spoke about sparing babies from NYCU from blood transfusions.

“Like her idol Steve Jobs, she emitted a reality distortion field that forced people to momentarily suspend disbelief.”

“The way Sunny dressed was also meant to telegraph affluence, though not necessarily taste. He wore white designer shirts with puffy sleeves, acid-washed jeans, and blue Gucci loafers. His shirts’ top three buttons were always undone, causing his chest hair to spill out and revealing a thin gold chain around his neck. A pungent scent of cologne emanated from him at all times. Combined with the flashy cars,”

“Sunny, in fact, had the master-servant mentality common among an older generation of Indian businessmen. Employees were his minions. He expected them to be at his disposal at all hours of the day or night and on weekends.  He checked the security logs every morning to see when they badged in and out. Every evening around 7:30, he made a fly by of the engineering department to make sure people were still at their desks working..."

"As Ren did the [Edison] demonstration. Tyler and Iriner weren't sure what to think. The device seem to consist of a pipet fastened to a robotic arm that moved back and forth on a gantry. Both had envisioned a sophisticated micro fluidity system . But this seemed like something a middle schooler could build in his garage"

“the company was just a vehicle for Elizabeth and Sunny’s romance and that none of the work they did really mattered. Ian nodded. “It’s a folie à deux,” he said. Tony didn’t know any French, so he left to go look up the expression in the dictionary. The definition he found struck him as apt: “The presence of the same or similar delusional ideas in two persons closely associated with one another.”

"Elizabeth wanted the website and all marketing material to feature bold affirmative statements. One was to that Theranos could run 800 tests on a drop of blood. Another was that it's technology was more accurate than transitional lab testing. She also wanted to say Theranos test results were ready in 30 minutes. Approved by FDA and endorsed by…"

"A photo of the event showed Holmes holding a microphone,  speaking to the assembled guests, with Chelsea Clinton at her side. With the election 8 months away, and Clinton considered the front runner. It was a reminder how politically connected Holmes was. Enough to make her regulatory problems go away? Anything seemed possible!”

"Chelsey was worried about Elizabeth. In her relentless drive to be a successful startup founder. She had built a bubble around herself and the only person she was letting inside was a terrible influence. How could her friend not see that?"

“in comparisons runs using the same blood samples. The [Theranos] Edison produced results that differed from those by conventional machines by as much as 146%. And just as Tyler Schultz had contended the devices couldn't reproduce their own results"

Book in 1 paragraph

• An age-less parable about the pursuit for personal dreams. Told through the eyes of a Shepherd who’s experiences took him along many paths on his way to find his Treasure

5 Key Ideas

• Everyone has a Personal Legend they must find. It's our true purpose in life. Don't be a sheep
• Overcoming fear and seizing opportunities is how we become who we’re meant to become
• The only way to live our Personal Legend is to persist through the difficulties & challenges
• There is a Grand Design for everyone and everything. Sometimes, we may take the long winded and difficult way to get to our Legend. So be patient.
• Love is the strongest force in the Universe 😀

To Ponder

• It may seem idyllic to rely on someone else to make all our decisions for us (like sheep do). But it could be life threatening as we’re no longer looking after our well being
• Everything, everyone has a Purpose in this world. That’s our Personal Legend
• Look out for Omens - luck does exist and the Universe will give us
• "The secret of happiness is to see all the marvels in the world, and never to forget the drops of oil on the spoon.” - don’t forget what we have, in front of us - our family, friends, who we are...
• Be weary of seeing the world for what I want. Not what it is.
• When we are filled with curiosity or have nothing but good vibes about something. That is the time to strike. That's when our whole being is tuned to getting the best outcome for ourselves and we exude a vibe of confidence and certainty. Much more likely to think abundantly and get they outcome we want
• Fear rules most of us. To achieve anything, we should just make a commitment and start on the journey
• if you can maximise opportunities, and help other people make money, you too will be rewarded
• Maktub - “So it is written"
• Do things with Enthusiasm - only then is this quote valid: ‍

• “When you want something, all the universe conspires to help you achieve it,”

• Chase after you dreams, we can always go back to doing what we did: "He could always go back to being a shepherd. He could always become a crystal salesman again. Maybe the world had other hidden treasures, but he had a dream, and he had met with a king. That doesn’t happen to just anyone!"
• Find the flow of things, learn its rules and go where my Personal Legends points. Going against the flow is counterproductive - recognise the signs:

• "The caravan and the desert speak the same language, and it’s for that reason that the desert allows the crossing. It’s going to test the caravan’s every step to see if it’s in time, and, if it is, we will make it to the oasis.” “If either of us had joined this caravan based only on personal courage, but without understanding that language, this journey would have been much more difficult.”

• We all seek the True Path, but in different ways
• We’re “asked” to prove our commitment by being persistent "The closer he got to the realization of his dream, the more difficult things became. It seemed as if what the old king had called “beginner’s luck” were no longer functioning."
• Forget about the future. Forget about the Past. Focus on the Present. Only in changing the present can we improve upon it and the future.

• "The secret is here in the present. If you pay attention to the present, you can improve upon it. And, if you improve on the present, what comes later will also be better. Forget about the future, and live each day according to the teachings, confident that God loves his children. Each day, in itself, brings with it an eternity.”

• The reward is in the journey. The experience itself is the Reward
• At its core, the basic principles of life should be straight forward and easy to understand. We’ve decided to make things complicated by rejecting simple things, with over interpretation and philosophical studies
• We need to learn to listen to our heart to truly be who we are, chase our dreams, and find true Happiness
• There is no point in showing people “treasures within you”, people won’t believe you
• Believe in the greater Design of the Universe, that everyone & everything has its place. Be patient in what we do, and appreciate the journey.

Plot

• Our protogonist, the Boy is a shepherd based in Spain, who was a priest in training. Decided he wants to see the world
• He’s passed through many towns, and in one town talks to a fortune teller about his recurring dreams of being led to a Egytian treasure at the Pyramids by a little girl
• Boy meets a “King”, a messenger of god / the Universe who appears to anyone who has found their Personal Legend. “King” tells the boy to go to Egypt by following the Omens, and gifts 2 stones to the Boy to help him make decisions during tough times
• Boy sells his sheep and goes to Tunisia in Africa to begin his trip. He is duped out of his money the first night he lands
• Boy meets a Crystal merchant who took a chance on his, and who believes in Omens. Boy’s willingness to try anything and his ability to recognise Omens makes him and the merchant very rich as they use different advertising methods to sell the crystal (e.g. set up a tea station on the hill with many passer-bys, serving tea out the crystals)
• After a year, Boy debates whether to go back to his town and buy sheep, or venture toward his Personal Legend. He decides the latter and joins the expedition out to the Egypt. Boy meets an Englishman on the journey who’s looking for the Alchemist - someone who can see into the Soul of the World and can read the Omens
• There is a civil war as the Boy and Englishman’s expedition tries to reach the Oasis. When they got there, Boy has a vision of armies attacking the Oasis (which is against tradition for all tribes). He warns the tribal leaders at the Oasis, and puts his life on the line as a bet to ensure the Oasis is defended.
• Next day, a tribe attack the Oasis, and were killed. Boy is made the councillor of the Oasis
• Also at the Oasis, boy meets love of his life Fatima who yearns to be with him, but as a girl of the desert, understands what it means to wait for her man as they seek their Personal Legend.
• Boy meets the Alchemist who helps him to reach Egygt
• On the way to Egypt, the Alchemist guides the Boy toward many things:

• like talking to his heart
• people will seldom believe treasures we show them

• The Alchemist and the Boy are captured by tribesmen who thinks they are spies. The Alchemist promises them that the Boy is a great sorcerer and can be the Wind
• The Boy spent days trying to become the Wind. Not realising what to do, he ends up talking to the Dessert, the Wind, and the Sun. In their efforts to impress him, the Wind blew more fierce, the Sun shune more.
• Eventually the boy connected to the Soul of the World - the Universe and he realised that everything was a following a Design. Even know he couldn’t turn himself into the Wind, there was enough Wind that day to convince the tribesmen.
• The Alchemist took the Boy to a monastery, where he created Gold from Lead and divided into 4 parts - 1 for himself, 1 for the Boy and 2 for the Monk (which incl the 1 to give to the Boy when he returns here). Then he left the Boy
• Boy found the spot where his heart told him the treasure was but found nothing. Till 3 tribal refugees robbed him, and told him he was stupid for believing in his dream of dream. One of the 3 told the Boy how he too dreamed of treasure in Spain, thereby giving the Boy the real location of the Treasure - the Boy needed to travelled, experienced all he did. He needed to be there, digging, beaten by the refugees to really find his treasure
• Boy travels back to Spain and got his treasure

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‍Quote

The lake was silent for some time. Finally, it said: “I weep for Narcissus, but I never noticed that Narcissus was beautiful. I weep because, each time he knelt beside my banks, I could see, in the depths of his eyes, my own beauty reflected.”

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"The boy could see in his father’s gaze a desire to be able, himself, to travel the world—a desire that was still alive, despite his father’s having had to bury it, over dozens of years, under the burden of struggling for water to drink, food to eat, and the same place to sleep every night of his life."

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"When someone sees the same people every day, as had happened with him at the seminary, they wind up becoming a part of that person’s life. And then they want the person to change."

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"Everyone seems to have a clear idea of how other people should lead their lives, but none about his or her own."

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“That at a certain point in our lives, we lose control of what’s happening to us, and our lives become controlled by fate. That’s the world’s greatest lie.”

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"whoever you are, or whatever it is that you do, when you really want something, it’s because that desire originated in the soul of the universe. It’s your mission on earth.”

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"when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”

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"when each day is the same as the next, it’s because people fail to recognize the good things that happen in their lives every day that the sun rises."

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“Sometimes, there’s just no way to hold back the river"

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"When someone makes a decision, he is really diving into a strong current that will carry him to places he had never dreamed of when he first made the decision."

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"The boy was beginning to understand that intuition is really a sudden immersion of the soul into the universal current of life, where the histories of all people are connected, and we are able to know everything, because it’s all written there."

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"Most people see the world as a threatening place, and, because they do, the world turns out, indeed, to be a threatening place."

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“When you possess great treasures within you, and try to tell others of them, seldom are you believed.”

Walter Isaacson digs into Steve Jobs life from his childhood through to his death.

It paints a picture of a man with polarising views - something is either "insanely great", or "absolutely shit". If anything, Jobs' reputation as a prick and uncompromising people manager, visionary, and creative genius is confirmed.

A very human look at a man who offered the world much because of his flaws and uncompromising values.

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Take away

• Be passionate about what you do - don't compromise on quality
• Put on a show, presentation is important
• Keep strong relationships with people, long term relationships will always benefit both parties
• Don't let other people tell you what can, and can't be done.  Just do it!
• The best product is at the intersection of multiple disciplines: art, architecture, technology, literature - take something that's beautiful in another industry, and bring it to the software industry
• Being a perfectionist and striving for the best will bring out the best in others, and attract others with similar qualities to you
• Be a good manager, listen to people's ideas but do no stray from original vision
• Don't alienate people by being mean (unlike Steve Jobs)‍

‍

Quotes

Steve Jobs Quotes

If you want to live your life in a creative way, as an artist, you have to not look back too much. You have to be willing to take whatever you’ve done and whoever you were and throw them away. The more the outside world tries to reinforce an image of you, the harder it is to continue to be an artist, which is why a lot of times, artists have to say, “Bye. I have to go. I’m going crazy and I’m getting out of here.” And they go and hibernate somewhere. Maybe later they re-emerge a little differently

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"Picasso had a saying - 'good artists copy, great artists steal' - and we have always been shameless about stealing great ideas."

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“The older I get, the more I see how much motivations matter. The Zune was crappy because the people at Microsoft don’t really love music or art the way we do. We won because we personally love music.

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“I had no idea what i wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out.”

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“When you open the box of an iPhone or iPad, we want that tactile experience to set the tone for how you perceive the product.”

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“Intuition is a very powerful thing, more powerful than intellect, in my opinion.”

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Walter Isaacson Quotes (from Book)

“On the day he unveiled the Macintosh, a reporter from Popular Science asked Jobs what type of market research he had done. Jobs responded by scoffing, "Did Alexander Graham Bell do any market research before he invented the telephone?"

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Steve has a reality distortion field.” When Hertzfeld looked puzzled, Tribble elaborated. “In his presence, reality is malleable. He can convince anyone of practically anything. It wears off when he’s not around, but it makes it hard to have realistic schedules."

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“Jobs tended to be deeply moved by artists who displayed purity, and he became a fan. He invited Ma to play at his wedding, but he was out of the country on tour. He came by the Jobs house a few years later, sat in the living room, pulled out his 1733 Stradivarius cello, and played Bach. “This is what I would have played for your wedding,” he told them. Jobs teared up and told him, “You playing is the best argument I’ve ever heard for the existence of God, because I don’t really believe a human alone can do this.”

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“Was he smart? No, not exceptionally. Instead, he was a genius. His imaginative leaps were instinctive,
unexpected, and at times magical. He was, indeed, an example of what the mathematician Mark Kac called a magician genius, someone whose insights come out of the blue and require intuition more than mere mental processing power. Like a pathfinder, he could absorb information, sniff the winds, and sense what lay ahead.”

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Alex Honnold is no ordinary man.

Imagine being 3000 feet vertically off the ground. Clinging to a smooth mountain face with your thumb holds and 2 very small indents where your toes barely fill. Sweat rolls down your forehead as you try to plot your next move.

And the climbing rope that’s meant to act as your safety?

Well… That’s at home.

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You see, Alex is the world’s greatest Free Soloist. It means he makes climbing history without ropes.

Hearing Alex in Free Solo talk about his commitment to continue climbing the way he does (when so many other free soloists have fallen to their death), makes you wonder if he’s insane.

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But he isn’t. Alex is methodical about his climbs. He takes months to plan for each climb, works out the routes, climbs those routes repeatedly, and literally goes through the surface contours with a fine brush to remove loose debris dangerous to his rope-less climbs. He lets his well-trained gut tell him when he’s ready to climb without a rope, and in his words:

“I practice the moves over and over again until it’s not scary anymore”

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While most of us won’t be trying Free Soling anytime soon. Watching Alex breaks down his process feels like a Magician revealing secrets of his tricks —  it loses some of its luster, but still feels damn hard to do.

What it does do it put Alex on the same plane as us mere mortals. Perhaps we too can achieve feats of wonder — only if we learn how to conquer our Fears.

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Over the years, I started to notice patterns with people who can beat Fear fover and over again. Here’s what I found:

1. Push through the Fear

A big part of working through Fear is getting used to the discomfort.

When you feel that discomfort. Acknowledging the natural fight-or-flight responses in your body.

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Choose to rationally and calmly push through it anyway.

Consistently working through despite the Fears helps you build the habit. And over time, you’ll find yourself becoming more like Alex — fear becomes just another emotion you experience, like happiness and sadness, something you can just push through.

2. Put yourself in Fear’s way

Like doing hard things. Conquering one’s fears is more about repetition than once off actions.

For example, after 2 years+ of daily cold showers, I realized:

“I was never going to get used to cold showers”

But I continue the habit. First thing in the morning. Every single Day. Cold days especially.

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Why?

When I stand there stark (raving) naked, my breath quickens, and the beckoning of a hot shower is only a faucet twist away.

When I choose to turn on the cold water to full blast, this prepares the body and mind to face down anything for the rest of the day. As James Clear says: establishing any habit is all about reinforcing your identity.

Committing to conquering fears daily in the smallest of things, whether a cold shower, or 4:30am gym sessions (see Jocko Willink’s Instagram), it’s all about repeatedly re-defining your identity as:

You are a someone who eats Fear for Breakfast. Everyday.

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Afraid of speaking to strangers?
Get out the phone book, randomly dial 100 strangers, and make an effort at good conversation!

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Afraid of heights?
Go up to a tall building and force yourself to look down (behind the safety barrier mind you)!

3. Try, fail, try again

Successful people have a tendency of doing scary things over and over. They don’t back down at the first sign of failure. It’s about the ability to get up from a bad beat (repeatedly), than not feeling fear at all.

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I’ve grown more bold, less and less paralyzed by activities that 6 months ago would’ve left me gasping for air, by simply “getting back on the horse” — e.g. learned to ride a bike at 35, regroup after our startup after failed Kickstarter & lost a co-founder.

What more, as a dad. I’m influenced by how much a positive example I can set for my kids. How much I can reinforce the message:

It’s ok to be afraid, but it’s not ok to give up.

After all, if I’m chasing my dreams with full abandon, and picking myself up again and again, I can only hope some of that rubs off on them.

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As long as we learn from our failures, it will continue to build character and inner strength. Fueling an ever more virtuous circle of confidence and boundary-pushing.

"... The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat."
- Theodore Roosevelt

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And when things don’t work?

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Take a breather. Pick yourself back up, raise your head and stare Fear square in the face again. That’s how Alex Honnold does it…

Book in 1 paragraph

Rand Fishkin’s 16 journey starting Moz as a consulting business, turning it into a product business, raising a lot of money, and becoming a leader in the industry. Rand shares everything he’s learnt in this time

5 Key Ideas

• Know what you're getting into. Evaluate the pros and cons of day consulting vs product, VC backed vs self funded, going anal vs going build. Rand shares his own experiences with us
• Forget what media says. VC isn’t the only way forward. And being small may be an advantage
• Focus on the long term - building growth, focus. Forget growth hacks and diversification
• There’s something special in entrepreneurship. The journey while filled with pain, self discovery, and challenges is worth it (for some of us)
• The company is an extension of the founder / founding team DNA. Best way to improve the odds of company success is to know ourselves (and grow ourselves)

Contrarian Ideas

• Execution is not everything. Plan , strategise
• Don't raise VC money until you know what you’re getting into
• Get acquired is good = liquidity for founders (life changing amount of money)
• comes with minimise VC raise if you can - founder & investor interests aren’t aligned
• Focus on marketing flywheel, not growth hacks
• most growth hacks only bring attention to the business, they don’t improve customer satisfaction, product, and therefore don’t improve product stickiness - instead created brand perception of low discount, team’s constant pursuit of shortcuts, and little customer retention.
• Better to focus on the long term benefits, and use growth hacks to ease friction and introduce new traffic
• MVP doesn’t work for all products. Be careful with what you ship - assess market, competition, and your reach

Consulting vs. Product businesses

Consulting Benefits

• Little to no setup costs
• Revenue from day 1
• can grow organically purely from revenue
• Less market competition
• Less employee attrition from SaaS head hunters
• Better financial outcome for founders - less likelihood to raise outside capital, less dilution
• Can pay themselves a profits.Not as much money needed for reinvestment. Unlike product businesses which require liquidity event to cash out. Moz does $45m/yr but Rand is still cash poor due to reinvestment/ growth requirements of product business
• 4 times as likely to survive as product business (US Data: 45% vs 10%, 5 year survival rate)
• More likely to get to do what founders love. Revenue can pay for staff (unlikely on product business whose  fighting changing guys changes every 6 months, and mostly about managing people, evangelising the business)
• Because of no dilutation. Likely higher acquisition value

Product Benefits

• Scales well
• Higher margins (generally 70%+)
• Much higher acquisition multiplier
• Have (very small) possibility of hitting a home run and scale into 8, 9 figure business

Reason to do Product

• Willing to accept risk
• Feel like there's a calling and a Mission we have to achieve

3 biggest causes of consulting to product failure:

• Too entrenched in consulting business and reliance on consulting income
• Failure to dedicate time to product business
• Failure to find the right audience for the product (not all consulting clients will transition)

"Start with a product that's informed by your consulting. Services you provide expose you to problems that your customers face"

• Applied knowledge gained from consulting gives unique insight into product features that customers will pay for. Solid examples of transition from service to product eg hotjar, moz

Founder DNA

Startups inherits founder strength, weakness, quirks. If we can structure the startup around those to maximise strength, minimise / delegate weakness. Much better chance of success. Caveats to watch out for:

• A lack of understanding in a field usually means lack of contacts and not knowing what the business really needs - unknowns unknowns
• Founders DNA will be so embedded in the business it would take time to unwind eg non tech founders will have businesses with large tech debt
• Losing people who have been in the business for a while will unwind key aspects of the business

Map our own weakness to functions in the business should unearth gaps on the business

Learning an unknown area

• Ask employees what best practice they used the where
• Learn from leading blogs in the niche
• Champion an employee who can make a real difference
• Recognise when the employee has gone beyond pragmatism and into misled religious fever
• How leaders who can articulate and can teach and not afraid not to reveal details to neophytes

Startup building

• Audience before product. Moz accidentally built the audience, brand, trust and technical expertise required for a product business. These are things consulting business wouldn't need (which only required word of mouth to fill pipeline). It was a nature fit to move toward product.
• It's not always necessary to find a solution. Changes to company structure, protocols may be sufficient to move the situation forward
• Even if a leader doesn't lead up an area, better to take time to understand it so hiring for (leaders) for that area
• Startups inherits founder strength, weakness, quirks. If we can structure the startup around those to maximise strength, minimise / delegate weakness. Much better chance of success

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Running a company

Identifying personal weaknesses

• What level of knowledge do I have - theoretical, managerial (managed someone who did the work), practical, expert.
• What knowledge is required for the role?
• Founder weakness
• make a list of previous successes and failures - chances are high weaknesses are those not on the list
• keep shared list of successes and failures with team - over time can analyze those for personal and team patterns
• when problems arise, do I / founders step in? If so, is the issue fixed?
• list functional areas of the business - the area with high turnover generally indicated weakness in business
• in the strategic plan / lean canvas - which area has the least bit of detail

Focus

• We’re led to believe we must pursue growth at all costs. Diversification becomes an easy target because there’s money and there are resources. e.g. acquisition, R&D on new products or features
• but focus is necessary to be the best in the world.

Venture Capital

• Great learning experience - trial by fire, lit by pressure to grow
• Doesn't make founders cash rich.  Net worth tired up in stock with no secondary market (on very rare case can be bought by additional investor rounds)
• Could take some money off the table. But need a very large round

VC motivation

• Looking for rate of return of 12.5%, or 3 times ROI over 10 years. Opportunity cost is stocks, bond, public market
• That's the average, but given startup hit rates the actual ROI VCs looks for would be 100x plus in 1 or 2 of its best performing startups to make up for the loss from its other investments. If the best startup is only making 10x return, that's not enough to considering 3x payback ACROSS the profiling may / may not be achieved depending on how much VCs has put into its most promising stars eg 400m fund need $1.2 billion return. Split across 20 investments. That's $20m each, if only 2 succeeds each successful startup need to return $600m (30x)
• Expected return = fund size X LP ROI / number of expected successes for fund
• Usually takes 15 years as startups are created, die, or liquidate. Which explains why angel investing is such an none liquid activity

Build expertise before network.

Build between before fund raise

Eg establish domain expertise in a startup skill. Help other founders, build network with them. Ask for referral during raise

What Rand wish VCs would’ve told him

• “I invest in dozens to hundreds of startups. Eight out of ten don’t return any money, but I don’t know which ones those will be, so I have to place a lot of bets.”
• “If you end up looking like one of the companies that will be that big moneymaker, I’ll lavish you with attention, as will the rest of my partners. We’ll make you feel important, powerful, respected—like a dear friend and close confidant, and maybe the kid I never had.”
• “If things go the other way, and you look like one of the duds, expect that our attention and interest will fade; it may start to feel like meetings with you and requests from you are more of a chore than a shared mission.”
• “One of our biggest tools in either preserving a growing company’s prospects for success or attempting to recover a flailing startup is to replace the CEO. If things are going well, that’s very unlikely. If things go poorly, especially for an extended stretch, it’s much more likely.”
• “If you would be happiest building a strong, stable business that’s profitable, that makes you wealthy and happy, that has reasonable harmony between your work and the rest of your life, we are absolutely the wrong choice.”
• “If you cannot imagine doing anything but grinding as hard as you can, with relentless focus, and demanding the same from the team around you in pursuit of becoming an incredibly rare moonshot of a billion-plus-dollar business, even though the odds suck, congratulations, our model is a match.”
• “Personal happiness and successfully raising venture capital are rarely correlated.”

Culture

Values

• Company Values are only Values if there is a cost to them
• Bad examples: move fast and break things
• Good example of fun values:
• Moz’s TAGFEE: https://moz.com/about/culture
• They could be competitive advantages as well, but the company could potentially suffer a loss of some kind by following them. The integrity to take on that cost is essential
• Values can’t be dictated, we must be discovered with existing group of employees e.g. ask all employees what attributes they admire in other people, use adjectives to describe the company they want to work in
• Values will attract the right employees, clients to you. And Repel people who wouldn’t be suitable in working with you
• The team could align on values without being demographically the same people e.g. white IT guys in their 30s, Asian accountant in their 50s, piercing loving warehouse staff in their 20s could all have the same Company Value

Corporate Structure

Don't make management the only career path towards.

Dual path for people management and technical skills will better career to people's needs

Choosing a market

• Unless you have to go after big markets & VC dollars. Go after smaller markets - less MBAs etc chasing them.
• Great products are born from mediocre ones. Key is:
• time - for iterations
• humility - to open to our failures and learn
• survival - profitability. Means we take to not die
• Our business has more chance of success if incumbent is any combination
• hated by customers
• unwilling to evolve with customer needs
• protected by competitive advantage we can unravel (or changes in market / regulatory conditions that unravels the advantage)
• in their early stage and not dominant yet (or a non-mature market)
• Keyword research - will help uncover untapped opportunities

‍Team

• Key is having a safe, team bonding culture
• Support for Vulnerability, and sorry will create an authentic, happy work place
• While productivity gains not measurable it's certain to improve employee, and consequently customer morale

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Founder Health

• Mental health super important
• Don't invest in outcome. Invest in behaviours. Consistent behaviours may or may not be the quick fix we want, but will eventually give us the outcome we chase. Reasons to invest in a behaviour
• Fun and interesting
• Fits with personal / company values
• Scales with decreasing friction
• Has postive causal outcome
• Had no negative causal outcom
• When we focus on the outcomes. People game and cheat the system - this is the folly of most corporate KPIs, and why companies with culture focus wins.

‍Quotes

"Get comfortable with the odds or don't roll the dice. The venture model is about outliers."

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"transparency is hard, but it works"

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The media, the hype, the legends of how Silicon Valley startups work are just a carefully crafted model home. They’re set pieces, painted by interested parties for their own benefits, built to hide embarrassing flaws. None of it is real.

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"Expect to do work you don’t love in order to allow what you do to flourish. If you don’t, the disappointment and frustration can kill your motivation."

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"Silicon Valley startup culture embeds founders with the false belief that because growth is what matters most, we should pursue any and all strategies that could lead us there. Far wiser, and much more difficult because of the discipline and patience required, is ignoring those potential off-course avenues in favor of applying the experimentation, learning, and iteration process to the one thing in which you can be best at in the world, and letting those other strategies for growth wait until you’ve got truly massive scale."

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Building a startup is hard. And more often than not, it’s your mental game that matters more - your grit, your perseverance, and your choices that lead to long term success.

Steve Jobs famously said:

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“… everything around you that you call ‘life’ was made up by people who were no smarter than you…”

I’d add they probably started where you did: juggling a day job, starting a young family, cash strapped, short of time.

The only difference?

They made good choices.

They made a conscious choice about what they wanted out of life. And how bring their Personal Mission to fruition.

This in turn dictated what they read, what they saw, people they connected with, and what they did with their time.

Here are some choices I’ve made to enable the side hustling life style...‍

‍Books you read

I try to read as much and as widely as I can. It’s important to read both seminal works on non fiction topics you’re interested (e.g. The Lean Startup, > 2720 reviews on Amazon), but also obscure books that may resonate with you (a personal favourite is Not Fade Away, which has < 70 reviews on Amazon)

Some tips to help you pick great reads:

• Read books that’s been out for a couple of years, they’ve been around for longer, so reviews a plenty. Use Amazon for this. The classics are even better. I recently started reading Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde. It’s over 100 years old, beautifully written, and definitely has timeless lessons
• Don’t discount fiction. Some of the greatest lessons in life are stories in disguise (I personally rate The Alchemist). Food for thought: Is the Bible fiction?
• Plan your reading + keep a list. That way, you balance the right mix of reads in different interests. At the beginning of the year, I create a book list for the year across a broad range of topics. Throughout the year, I’ll pick up books from different categories to mix it up. This gives us conscious control of what I want to learn each year.
• Once in a while, read something that isn’t in your usual reading niche - a friend recently recommended me The five languages of love which I thought was interesting and different to my everyday reading habits. So Leave room in your book list for serendipitous discoveries

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Be deliberate in choosing what you put into your head

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People you know

“You're the average of the five people you spend the most time with”
  - Jim Rohn

Building a business is hard. After building our first startup for a year in isolation, I noticed a real difference after connecting with the Melbourne startup community.

I joined a coworking space, made friends with other founders, and became happier knowing there are others out there like me - struggling, fighting, but still hustling everyday.

Over time, the lines of my friendship and business associations blurred. Founders became friends. Friends started businesses.

As a result your potential partner for business and collaborations increases and people will naturally think of you as the person to go to for entrepreneurial advice - law of attraction at work.

If I were starting out tomorrow, here are a few places I’d go to find my Tribe:

• Meetups - great way to meet like minded people in your city. Lots of founders use this to find a co founder
• Facebook Groups - personally found this to be the best place to connect with like-minded people online. And have built great relationships
• Ask your friends for referrals - This is my preferred method as there’s already social proofing, especially for people who’ve already built a work reputation. I’ve been lucky to meet previous business partners this way.
• Co-working space - where other successful startups hang out: try Coworker.com, or Google “Coworking space [your city]”

Be deliberate in choosing who you connect with

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Words you use

Since Words has strong connotations for us mentally and emotionally, how you perceive yourself, and your Personal Mission is pivotal.

I find it useful to be firm in my self talk and what I say to others.

Think in terms of potential, not limitations.

Be firm in your belief. Be open in your mindset. Be strong in your convictions.

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“When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it” - Paulo Coelho

So instead of:

• I’ll get back to you tomorrow ➡️ I will get back to you tomorrow

• I think so ➡️ yes

• I don’t know ➡️ I will get back to you

When it comes to positive affirmations. The mind can’t tell the difference between what you’ve done and what you want to do.

So imagine what your life will be with the end goal in mind, and your’ll naturally fit into this new life. Some examples of daily mantra:

• I run a business that impacts the lives of millions
• I was put on Earth to serve others
• What I do make a positive difference in the world

Be deliberate in choosing words you use, and be firm in your follow through.

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Book in 1 paragraph

As a society we over-estimate the notion of genius & talent, over hard work & grit.

Every single success we see in this world came from hard work. Not just talent

This book summaries Dr Duckworth’s decades of research and empirical evidence that perrservence will win over talent over time.

Note: Research in this area is still in its infancy. Most of the evidence in the book is <20 years of research, or empircal

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5 Key Ideas

• Grit is the determining factor for a success. Trump's all else. Hard work, plus constant competition will bring out the best. The world is abound with examples of hard work by the less Talented beating out the Talented in quantitative measurements

• It’s possible to measure, train and improve Grit

• The 4 stages of Grit are: Interest, Practice, Purpose and Hope. There are ways to maximise one’s approach to each of those stages to improve grit and the virtuous cycle of success

• Culture for Grit comes from setting clear expectations from leadership level, lead by example, and set out explicitly to build a gritty team (which in turn will attract others)

• Parenting can be both affectionate and with clear expectations of grit. Lead by example and rules in households that everyone can follow

‍Overview

‍John Irving the novelist had dyslexia and often thought to be dumb and lacy in school - he was neither. He became an exceptional writer through sheer effort. Rewriting and editing his manuscripts up to 10 times. His belief was in his stamina to be able to edit.

Do the precociously talented ever identify the bed to exert great effort and realise that success only comes after exceptionally painful work?

Grit is about stamina. Not intensity. It's about staying in love, and not just falling in love (with something)

Grit like all psychological traits, both genetic and environmental, it’s also polygenetic (affected by more than 1 gene, like height which is affected by 250 different genes, along with other effects combination of genes produce)

Social Multiplier Effect

• Virtuous cycle where as each of us got better, we uplift the capability of those around us in the same environment, on and on like a ripple in a pond it lifts everyone. This is why average IQ has increased by 50 points over the last century for kids, specifically in abstract reasoning.

• TV was a big change, in broadcasting things like Basketball techniques (and other things) to kids the world over, without having to attend a live game. Now all kids knew how to do a line up, or a left handed line up, etc. And levels of the game rose

Formula for Growth

Talent x effort = skill

Skill x effort = achievement

• Talent is how quickly we improve when applied Effort.

• Achievement is when we take our skills and use them and be acknowledged for our contributions.

• Note: That first 10,000 hours may only improve Skill. After that continued effort may see us Achieve

How to foster grit

• Change environment where we're forced to have more grit

• Identify

4 Stages of Grit

Interest

where passion begins. The activity has an element of play, fun and even obsession that draws us in

• "just because you like something doesn't mean you're good at it" Amy Chu to Angela

• Becoming skillful takes work. So at this stage is all about fostering interest

• Is not an instant event. Will take time to unearth and discover

• Play is an essential part of building interest

• Kids with over bearing parents will turn kids off the hobby. Whereas kids whose parents who allow them to make their own choice is faster at building interest

• How to foster interest?

• What triggered my interest in childhood

• What triggers my interest now?

• Experiment with different things. How do I feel about the novelty, the skills used?

Practice

Expert: Ericsson - deliberate practice

"whatever it takes I want to improve". Hours and hours of deliberate practice is a must

• Not just quantity of practice, but quality (deliberate practice)

• "deliberate practice is for preparation, and flow is for performance"

• Deliberate practice used to take in all instillation and working on improving a specific Suk

• Flow is the feeling of doing something and is just at the right level of skills for us. And feels pleasurable.

• Need Deliberate practice to improve quickly. Need Flow when producing work steadily

• Deliberate practice ingredients

• A clear goal with focus on a small, chunked skillset too work on

• Constant feedback - mostly negative on how to get better

• Mentally (and physically) draining training - Max 1 hope before meeting break even for experts

• A world class coach

• Forming habit and a daily routine helps deliberate practice. Won't be as hard to start and keep it going. Virtuous cycle upwards

Purpose

A deeper meaning to improving the world will drive us in the long run - "must be personally interesting and integral to the well being of others"

• What is a job

• I’m laying bricks - Job

• I’m building a Church - Career

• I’m building the house of God - Calling

• Those working toward a Calling (good or bad) are more gritty, take less sick days, feel happier & more fulfilled

• Whether it’s a Job, Career, or Calling is totally dependent on personal opinion. Not the actual job or role

• Similar to interest, Is not an instant event. Will take time to unearth and discover

Hope

Hope that things will improve, and we’ll get better. Essential for every stage of grit.

• Can be cultivated

• Comes from growth mindset - cultivated through failures and learning to get up again, realising effort can have positive impact on outcome.

• Just as helplessness leading to eventual depression can be cultivated in continuous exposure to negative situations where we have no control
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• Self talk: Optimists when criticising self focus on recent action (I didn't manage my time). Pessimists focus on  characteristic that we can't change  (I'll a loser)

• Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) has been proven to improve self talk, and reduce depression better than anti depressants

• The major worry are those who crusted through life without failures (will be scared by first failure), and those with fixed mind set who never learnt to get up from a failure (will be afraid to try)

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Parenting for Grit

• Possible to be both affectionate and have firm expectation with our kids

• Class is boring, texting friends is fun, but it doesn't foster learning. Extra curricular activity is both learning inducing and fun. Offering a structured path to grit (assuming we can  find a nurturing and strict teacher)

• Extra-curricula activity is a shortcut way for kids to build confidence & grit in themselves to try other hard things

• socially: something poor kids & their schools don’t offer - “the worst playing field” ever

• Angela’s grit rule for her home

• Everyone at home must choose a hard thing they practice every single day with discipline

• Everyone must stick with the hard thing to a natural conclusion (giving up is ok, but must be at natural milestone). “Natural” as in when term, tuition is due.

• Can’t give up hard thing on a particular bad day

• Everyone gets to choose their own hard thing

• Once in high school, kids must stick with a hard thing for a year

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A Gritty (Company) Culture

• Grit in a business setting is more effective than theory in a University setting

• "lectures don't have half the effect of  consequences"

• businesses only want outcomes. Theory means little

• Join an environment / team for grit and we can become grittier

• Likewise, someone who has more grit than their peers could push the whole team forward

• A gritty culture starts with the leader who intentionally goes out to build the culture

• Be clear with language - no synonyms. Consistent messaging

• A focus on talent, especially rewarding top performer and culling the bottom will foster a culture of smugness, eliteism and ongoing deception for those at the top for deceit. Better to focus on  provide one challenge after another to your team in a supportive environment, and offer help where needed
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• Leading from the front (lead your charges facing the same dangers), is a better strategy than fear driven motivation (an attrition model) - this was applied at West Point to create better leaders

• This also means sitting down with as struggling team mate to work out a plan for unpretentious that boats confidence do they can find their feet to eventually progress independently
   • It's a mindset and culture of belief & support (yes, you can), than one of fear driven hazing (get up here you maggot)

Grit and Happiness

• Being Gritty, and having the courage and discipline to carry on something is very very hard.

• But it offers a sense of fulfilment that people crave.

• Being Gritty = being much happier with life

• Too much Grit: not enough evidence say it’s a bad thing. But it’s ok to give up on things to allow room for new activities

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Quotes

"As much as talent counts. Effort counts twice”

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"Enthusiasm is common, endurance is rare”

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"Our potential is one thing. What we do with it is quiet another”

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"hiring McKinsey meant hiring the brightest. As if being the brightest made us the best”

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“...there are no shortcuts to excellence. Developing real expertise, figuring out really hard problems, it all takes time―longer than most people imagine....you've got to apply those skills and produce goods or services that are valuable to people....Grit is about working on something you care about so much that you're willing to stay loyal to it...it's doing what you love, but not just falling in love―staying in love.”

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“I won’t just have a job; I’ll have a calling. I’ll challenge myself every day. When I get knocked down, I’ll get back up. I may not be the smartest person in the room, but I’ll strive to be the grittiest.”

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“When you keep searching for ways to change your situation for the better, you stand a chance of finding them. When you stop searching, assuming they can’t be found, you guarantee they won”

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"We prefer or excellence fully formed. We prefer mystery to mundanity”

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"greatness is doable. Greatness is many many individuals feats and each of them is doable”

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"just because you love something doesn't mean you'll be great" Amy Chu to Angela

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"how you see yourself is more important than job title”

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Quote: "Bill [gates] only hired programmers who finish what they started”

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[Parenting] "My goal was to provide them discipline. To go at things hard, you have to learn those things. They don’t just happen. It’s important for me to teach the kids you finish what you begin.” - Quote from Sherry and “Grit”

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“If you define genius as accomplish great things in life without effort. Then, I’m no genius, and neither is he. But if instead, if you define genius as working toward excellence with every fibre of your being. Then in fact, my dad is a genius, then so am I. And so is Coates, and if you are willing, so are you."

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If like me you grow weary of the pressure cooker, sleep deprived pseudo existence popularised by startup mass media - where apparently every startup founder / man / woman / chihuahua is “crushing it”.

Here’s the anti-mantra for a normal life to set you free:

I give myself permission to fail at startups.

I give myself permission to fail at being a dad.

I give myself permission to fail at being a husband.

I give myself permission to fail at being an employee.

I give myself permission to fail at intermittent fasting / [fill in the blank] diet.

I give myself permission to fail at lifting the weights I want to lift.

I give myself permission to walk away from phone calls, messages and social media.

I give myself permission to relax, unwind, play and sleep.

I give myself permission to put 110% into everything I do.

But I also give myself permission to fail.

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Summary based on Joachim Neugroschel translation (audio book)

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Food for Thought

‍We all seek to escape from the pointless of life & from ourselves in some way.  The same escape offered by from meditation, holding one’s breath, self denial, just as what the merchants, the drunkard, the ox drive engages in their every day idle pursues.

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The inner peace & quality of peace we find has a tendency to flow into everything we do: how we hold ourselves, how we talk, how we move

Enlightenment may not be to seek knowledge, but salvation from suffering. Our personal belief doesn’t have to be true, as long as it provides what we need for peace, it may be enough.

Instead of just acquiring knowledge. Quiet contemplation and the ability to look inside of ourselves is the more direct path to enlightenment.

"The thankful, think little. Like old man and children"

- perhaps that’s where real wisdom lies, perhaps that’s true contentment?

While others would fret about the little annoyances of life. Siddhartha has true acceptance. Welcomed fortune, misfortune alike with the same joy: "He was still separate from them. Feeling Aloft, different. Watching their lives to go by, not allowing it to touch his soul”

But eventually, Siddhartha experienced the death of the soul that rich people hav. Siddhartha forgets his enlightenment, and becomes one of us. He came to enjoy worldly possessions and pleasure of the sensors. Instead of being able to count on his thoughts, his fasts and his discipline. Worldly worries seeped into his soul. “Greed got a hold of him. It was no longer a game for him. Possessions owned him”

Being able to cast away unnecessary parts of ourselves becomes a necessity for enlightenment.

We delude ourselves by thinking if we hold someone in their relationship, by being patient with them. We’re showing them love. But it's still a constraint - forcing them against what they want deeply. It's not love. And it's as bad as punishing by force or anger.

It’s always possible to start anew. Let not age, experience (too much or too little), or physical disability stop us

Our empathy can only comes from sharing the human experience, intellectual comprehension of it does not suffice. Which is why Siddhartha had to err, had to sin, had to suffer to understand…

My favorite quote

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"the opposite of every truth is just as true"

gives a real feel for the yin-yang of reality. Breaks down that truth cannot be expressed in words, and must be simplified to be understood, robbing it of its true meaning. This is why Siddhartha walked away from real teachers. Truth can only be experienced, not taught thought thoughts or words.

Quotes

‍“once every desire and every urge was silent in the heart, then the ultimate part of me has to awake, the inner most of my being, which is no longer myself, the great secret“

“when you through a rock into the water, it will speed on the fastest course to the bottom of the water. This is how it is when Siddhartha has a goal. A resolution. Siddhartha does nothing. He waits, he thinks, He fasts. But he passes through the things of the world like a rock through the water, without doing anything, without stirring. He is drawn, he lets himself fall. His goal attracts him, he doesn’t allow anything enter his soul. This is what he has learnt among the Shramanas. … This is what fools call Magic”

“May be we can’t love. Only the child-like people can. That’s their secret”

“When one is search. The eye only sees what he searched for. Let nothing enter his mind”

“the opposite of every truth is just as true… any truth can only be expressed and put into words is one sided. Everything one sided, thought with thoughts or said with words. It’s just 1 sided, it lacks completeness, roundness, one-ness…”

“The world is not imperfect, or on a slow path to perfection, it is perfect in every moment”

• taken with context that the drunkard, the sinner we see already has the future potential for the Buddha in them, in us. We’re not on the way. We’re already perfect. “all sin already carries the divine forgiveness"

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Book in 1 paragraph

Contrary to popular belief Happiness can be intentionally improved.

Follow Grechen Rubin’s journey to improve her own happiness, one theme every month...

5 Key Ideas

1. Happiness can always be improved "People in general are already happy, but they are not the happiest the happiest.
2. Happiness is about growth - personal growth (helps a lot e.g. take up golf, guitar, or bridge). Material growth (helps a little)
3. Happiness is a choice - act the way I feel, it takes more effort to appear to be happy
4. Choose to celebrate life and try new things - things that take us out of our comfort zone
5. Acceptance of ourselves and others - what makes others happy may not make us happy

Theory

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• The more element making up our identity, the less likely our self esteem can be threatened when one element doesn't go well
   • new identity also gives exposure and contact with others,  further increasing happiness
• People crave order, a clean environment is good for the mind
• Managing mood
   • sleep improves. People who sleep < 8 hours have impaired judgement about how much it’s affecting them
   • research shows tackling easy win of nagging tasks help with mood improvement
   • act the way we want to feel - facial feedback
• Working on the little things will give us joy for the big things
• Good marriage leads to more happiness. Vice versa
• The most common sources of conflict among couples are money, work, sex, communication, religion, children, in-laws, appreciation, and leisure activities. Having a newborn is also particularly tough.
• A key to happiness is squeezing as much happiness as we can out of a happy situation

Actionable items

Sleep

8 hours every night improves mood, productivity, energy levels

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Clean up

• 2 hours every Sunday to clean together when kids are napping
   • throw things out or donate
   • Create visual order

• 10 minutes before bed clean up desk, sink etc more therapeutic than reading before bed

• Have a specific place for things and put them back after use

• If something trashes less than a minute, do it now

• When feeling down: act happy (will be Happier), act with more energy (Will have more energy)

Marriage

• Appreciate, observe every little thing spouse does

• Minimal hugging time of 6 seconds, release of oxytocin

• Don’t nag. Use things like
   • systems or habits where both couple do their part - e.g. Envelope by die means making, shared iOS shopping list
   • Just do the task myself

• Respect the other person's decisions

• Don’t air every complaint or show anger. Better not to say anything than say anything in anger

• Don't expect praise or appreciation - do things for ourselves

• No dumping / venting - partner's happiness affects other partner. Over long time health also changes due to similarity in eating, exercise habits etc

• Give full attention to the other partner, appreciate them
   • Gestures of love and attention

• Fight right:
   • Don't use: you always, you never
   • Don't blow up immediately
   • Focus on problem at hand, instead of past issues
   • Use repair attempts to keep bad feelings from escalating

"each married couple should have an outdoor game, like tennis or golf, and an indoor game, like Scrabble or gin, that they play together.”

Kids

• Appreciate every little thing they do - reframe problems: how would I like it someone else did the parenting <task> for me?

• Kids just want to be acknowledged, repeating what they said, instead of saying “no” to them could be the best answer
   • e.g. you don’t like dinner because you’re full

•  don't say 'no' or 'stop'. Say yes, we'll play add soon add toy finish lunch.
   • Wave magic wand, if I could wave my magic sand, it'll it'll be warm outside and you won't have to wear your boots

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Attitude

• Choose to be happy, not during down times. All the time :)

• Bank happiness. To be used during tough times

• We choose to appear unhappy because happiness is associated with complacency, those who strive we feel shouldn’t feel happy
   • Also, because of so much wrong happening in the world, we assume we need to show we’re suffering. But it’s a fallacy - our own unhappiness will not reduce the issues in the world.
   • Those who are happier contribute more to society, do more charity work, and are move productive. Doesn’t that allow us to do more to help the poor?

• When we're happy, we make other people. When other people are happy, it makes us happy

• Or takes effort and skill (Buddhism concept) to keep a Happy appearance. It's much harder to constently keep being happy

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Social connections

• Social connections strengthens happiness

• Keep in touch with friends - birthdays (note down theirs)

• Cut people some slack

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Money

• Money is a shortcut to give quick jots of happiness, but doesn’t last. This shortcut also eliminates the build effect of happiness - e.g. anticipate
   • Easy to get into spending spree
   • Deprivation is a easy & cheap way to reset retail addiction (also reset expectations)

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Spend it out

• Don’t hold the best thing for last - don’t know how long we’ll be around for

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Appearance

• Don’t hold the best thing for last - don’t know how long we’ll be around for. Give our best, experience our best today

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Quotes

“The days are long, but the years are short.”

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“Never start a sentence with the words 'No offense'”

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“Laughter is more than just a pleasurable activity...When people laugh together, they tend to talk and touch more and to make eye contact more frequently.”

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“What you do every day matters more than what you do once in a while.”

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“The things that go wrong often make the best memories.”

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“Sometimes I succeed, sometimes I fail, but every day is a clean slate and a fresh opportunity”

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“Nothing,' wrote Tolstoy, 'can make our life, or the lives of other people, more beautiful than perpetual kindness.”

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